Our neighbor to the North, the chick with the Honda Accord who CLAIMS she is a doctor, is a snitch. She reported Mr. Mac to the apartment complex for grilling less than 15 feet away from the building.
Now, granted, Mr. Mac and I know the rules, however, we feel that they are stupid and thus act out in a state of rebellion. As you do when rules are stupid. If we felt that we were endangering the lives of ourselves and others, we would not engage in the behavior, at least, I wouldn't because I have this thing about fires anyway especially since I started watching this season of The Tudors because they have burned a lot of people at the stake and it is so disturbing that I always have to switch the channel once they light the lumber at the bottom of the stake. I mean, can you imagine? Being tied to other folks and burning alive? What I find equally disconcerting is the fact that there are ALWAYS crowds of people there to witness whenever they carry out these death sentences. Yuck. What type of person can watch someone burn to death or someone's head getting chopped off? Gross.
ANYWAYS, the point is that fricking North , the "alleged" doctor told on us and the grill and Mr. Mac and I decided we are are too lazy to carry the barrel grill from the balcony, through the apartment and 15 feet away from the building THIS week, so our Memorial Weekend cookout is canceled.
Never fret though because we will retaliate. We are nothing if not passive aggressive. No matter how just or unjust that note was that the Grand left in our door last night. We have decided that we WILL grill again, 15 feet from the building, which is conveniently on the sidewalk that everyone will have to walk on to get to their apartment (we measured) on a weekend where this will only prove to be a pain in the ass to HER (like, when she has some guests for the weekend). We will clear this with our neighbor to the South (who also cannot stand her. Coincidentally, I can't stand the neighbor to the South, but Mr. Mac has an "understanding" with him and they get along just fine. I don't really have any issue with our neighbor to the North - the alleged doctor -- however, Mr. Mac does, and unlike him, who engages in conversation with the punk to the South, I know my loyalty lies with him so I am against the North as well).
When we do host this cookout, I intend to wear a Stop Snitching t-shirt and post up on the stairs.
This all started last year, when Mr. Mac grilled (I wasn't at home - probably was in Florence with my bitches - shout out to my bitches!!!!) and North came downstairs and was like, "My clothes are drying on the balcony and the smoke from your grill is seeping into my clothes" and Mr. Mac was all, "Whatever." Personally, I think if I was there, it could have gone 2 ways depending on Sybil's presence or absence.
Sybil present: You have a dryer connection.
Sybil absent: Girl, our bad, you want a piece of chicken?
I think if Mr. Mac had shared the food with her, North may have taken the situation better. But, noes. She also came down a couple Saturday mornings to complain to him about playing music too loudly. I wasn't there on any of those occasions then, either (at the gym). The first time Mr. Mac was like, oh, ok. The 2nd time, Mr. Mac wasn't playing any music and he was like, "I'm not playing any music!" and so she had to travel further South. And thus began her tumultuous relationship with THAT motha lover. Because he KNOWS that he plays Keith Sweat, R. Kelly and lately Michael Jackson (WTF?) at all hours so that he can seduce the harem of hoes he has coming in and out of his apartment.
Seriously, South? The Man in the Mirror is NOT a sexy CD.
I think North needs one or both of the following:
1. Some dick in her life.
2. A house.
Actually, I think all women need one or both of those.
