Mr. Mac just called me to say that he was in the electronics section at Wal-Mart and they were playing the song I used to rap when I got intoxicated.Well, the Ice Cube verse. Because Ice Cube is the shiznit.
It's actually pretty funny to hear me rap this song. I am admittedly about as un-gangsta as they come. Crazy, yes. Gangsta, no. Of course, my brother, G, is a real-life rapper. It doesn't run in our family or anything; I have this Minnie Mouse/Mike Tyson/Michele' (remember her?) voice going on and don't know much about the rapper lifestyle except for knowing that I don't live it. Imagine Minnie Mouse rapping the Ice Cube verse at the end of this song. Yeah, no.
I cannot believe that they were playing this song at Wal-Mart - it was uncensored, too, I know because I made Mr. Mac shut up so that I could hear my verse. Wal-Mart is so 'hood. Especially around here. The last time I went to Wal-Mart, I made it all the way to the checkout line, got pissed because the line didn't move after 20 minutes and just walked out of the store (sorry to the re-stock employees). They never fecking have any lanes open! Seriously, why have 50 checkout registers/lanes/whatever and 2 cashiers? And what is the point of the self-checkout if you aren't going to let people use them? HATE!
In other news, I had dinner with Snow White and Prince Erik last night, which happens pretty much every Wednesday night. David is probably reading this now going, W(why)TF is this Jaz's code name for me? Well, it's simple, Davey. It's because Snow White is a Disney Princess and if she is going to be in a committed relationship with someone, it has to be a Prince. And out of all of the Disney Princes, I felt like Prince Erik was the best looking (and according to THIS POLL, I am not the only one). I loved me some Aladdin, but I thought it would be kind of weird to name you Aladdin considering the whole Jas(z)mine thing going on. Right? So, that left me with Charming, Beast, Hercules, Li Shang, The Prince (Snow White's official man), Phillip, John Smith and Tarzan.
So, let's go through my thought process here. Aladdin was nixed automatically. I didn't want you to be Beast because even after he transformed, he seemed sort of gross to me still (I always liked Gaston for Belle anyway - he was big and stupid though, but considering she had intense conversations with a tea pot and a candle-abra, who is she to judge?), Charming never said anything of importance that I could remember, The Prince allowed Snow White to be a dwarf-hoe, John Smith didn't end up with Pocahontas in the end anyway, and I never really got into Hercules or Tarzan. Did they even have princesses? Li Shang was actually a front runner just because I thought it would be EXTREMELY hilarious to give you that name, but in the end, the red hair influenced the decision (Ariel was a red-head 'memba?).
And so, that is how you came to be Prince Erik.
